Original First Edition of Games People Play from Eric Berne’s private library.
Thesis. This is a game played by men who are not under sexual pressure—occasionally by younger men who have a satisfactory marriage or liaison, more often by older men who are gracefully resigned to monogamy or celibacy. Upon encountering a suitable female subject, White takes every opportunity to remark upon her good qualities, never transgressing the limits appropriate to her station in life, the immediate social situation and the requirements of good taste. But within those limits he allows full play to his creativity, enthusiasm and originality. The object is not to seduce but to exhibit his virtuosity in the art of effective compliment. The internal social advantage lies in the pleasure given to the woman by this innocent artistry, and by her responsive appreciation of White’s skill. In suitable cases, where both are aware of the nature of the game, it may be stretched with increasing delight on both sides, to the point of extravagance. A man of the world, of course, will know when to stop, and will not continue beyond the point at which he ceases to amuse (out of consideration for her) or where the quality of his offerings begins to deteriorate (out of consideration for his own pride of craftsmanship). “Cavalier” is played for its external social advantages in the case of poets, who are as much, or more, interested in the appreciation of qualified critics and the public at large as they are in the response of the lady who inspired them.
The Europeans in romance, and the British in poetry, seem always to have seen more adept at this game than the American. In our country it has fallen largely into the hands of the Fruit Stand school of poetry: yours eyes are like avocados, your lips like cucumbers, etc. “Cavalier,” Fruits Stand Type, can hardly compare in elegance with the productions of Herrick and Lovelace, or even the cynical but imaginative works of Rochester, Roscommon and Dorset.
The description of this game on this page is incomplete. For a complete description of this game, refer to Games People Play.
